


THE GREATEST FUCKING MASTERPIECE EVER WRITTEN EVER

by arrows (orphan_account), LOKISMOTHERFUCKINGASS



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology, Norse Mythology, The Odyssey - Homer
Genre: M/M, Mythology Crossover, So yeah, because the authors are insane, there will probably be a second chapter with loki/odysseus smut, written in verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-11
Updated: 2012-12-11
Packaged: 2017-11-20 22:15:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/590225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/arrows, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOKISMOTHERFUCKINGASS/pseuds/LOKISMOTHERFUCKINGASS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heimdall sends Loki back to ancient Greece. Stuff happens.</p><p>"Loki stared in surprise at the town to which he had been sent.<br/>Many confused and shocked villagers stared to him in fright.<br/>A wicked grin appeared upon his face as he looked upon the villagers,<br/>as he realized how easily he could force them to bow before him<br/>and his god-like power. ..."</p><p>(Written for a school project, crossover between Norse and Greek mythology.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE GREATEST FUCKING MASTERPIECE EVER WRITTEN EVER

**Author's Note:**

> This was a collab between me and [my friend Kay](kaycazzz.tumblr.com) for our English class. The characterization of Loki is taken from Marvel, so sorry if it isn't completely faithful to the mythology.  
> Hope you enjoy it! :D

“Brother, you know not of the consequences that shall ensue!” Thor,  
the Nordic God of Thunder, stated with a rather disappointed yet angered voice.  
The ever-mischievous Loki marched across the Bifrost  
like an army commander; his face full of pride and arrogance,  
in hopes of accomplishing his mission. He had developed a plot  
in which to destroy Jotunheim, home of the frost giants  
with which he had a complicated history, once and for all.  
He storms upon Himinbjorg, the dwelling of Heimdall the gatekeeper,  
a god of whom he is not quite fond. He called upon this man  
with a loud and angered voice, stating  
“I demand you send me to Jotunheim, for I seek vengeance for all that they have done,  
and guarantee the prosperity of Asgard shall be forever more!”  
This was not the most intelligent action, for Heimdall knew  
of Odin’s disapproval of causing conflict with the frost giants.  
Being ever-so cunning, Heimdall replied with “If such is your will, than be it so!”  
as he sent Loki off into another world.  
Thor cried out “You fool! How dare you disobey my father’s will  
and send him off!” Heimdall replied, “I would never be so ignorant as to disobey  
the will of Odin! I have sent Loki away, not to the Jotunheim,  
but rather to a distant realm, many years ago in time. This may serve as punishment  
for disobeying the will of Odin, and he shalt not be allowed to return  
until Odin wills for such!” Thor’s rage began to calm, though only slightly  
as he traveled to speak of the situation to his father, the almighty Odin All-father.  
Loki stared in surprise at the town to which he had been sent.  
Many confused and shocked villagers stared to him in fright.  
A wicked grin appeared upon his face as he looked upon the villagers,  
as he realized how easily he could force them to bow before him  
and his god-like power. However, in the corner of his eye  
he noticed two strange figures. One was the figure of a rather beautiful  
middle-aged woman dressed in ornate clothing. The second, a man  
who appeared to be a beggar. These two stood out to him,  
as their looks were not of fright, but rather of curiosity and a bit of suspicion.  
He noticed the woman had slowly begun to approach him.  
“It seems as though the gods have been generous,  
finally paying me with a worthy suitor. I am Penelope, mother of Telemachos,  
and widow of the late Odysseus. My husband seems to have perished  
from his travels, and I am looking to find a man worthy of my betrothal.  
Would you happen to be such a man?” The ever-mischievous Loki replied  
“Back off, lowly Midgardian peasant! I refuse to waste my time  
with a lowly ant such as yourself!” As Penelope scurried off,  
disgusted and upset by the god of Mischief’s insult, the beggar came into sight.  
“Speak, lowly peasant!” Loki cried toward him. He replied “I wish to discuss with you  
some important matters. Please come with me.”  
Before Loki could refuse, the beggar had grabbed him by the arm with remarkable strength, pulling him away from all of the villagers.”  
“I know who you are, and I know why you are here.  
You may not fool me, for though I may not appear to be so, I am the gray-eyed Athene, goddess of war. I wish to discuss some rather important matters.”  
Loki, in disbelief, shouted to the beggar “Is this so? You must prove  
that you are the goddess you speak of.” With that, the beggar transformed,  
no longer hiding the true form of the gray-eyed goddess.  
“I believe this serves as enough proof for you. I know your identity.  
You are Loki, Norse god of Mischief, adoptive son of Odin  
and brother of Thor. You have been cast here as will of Heimdall,  
for you have planned the demise of Jotunheim, despite your father’s wishes.  
I can aid you in the escape of this dire situation and help you to return home unharmed,  
if you are willing to assist me with a minor task.”  
Loki replied, “Dictate to me your task, and I shall decide whether or not to comply.  
I have but one question. Why would you agree to help me,  
despite the fact that I have disobeyed my father?” To this, Athene replied  
“I am the goddess of war! I am indeed in support of your plan;  
as such battles are what I strive for. Either way, my plan for you  
is to observe the state of the great Odysseus. He is indeed alive,  
though I must have assurance of his well-being, as I may not always be there  
to ensure his safety. I can transport you to his location if such is your will.”  
Loki replied to the gray-eyed goddess, “I shall not trust you, for you may deceive me.”  
Athene replied, “Well, what other choice do you have? Sit here  
and wait to be saved for what could be months, years even? You can trust in me.”  
Loki replied, “Fair enough.”  
God-like Odysseus stood upon the deck of the wooden ship, as it traveled  
upon waves of blue-gray seawater. The crew had become fatigued  
as a result of their adventures; though they knew they had many more destinations  
to come. Suddenly, the ever-mischievous Loki came into appearance.  
Athene had flown him there to meet with Odysseus. The goddess had explained  
the situation regarding Odysseus to Loki prior to arriving.  
Loki greeted Odysseus, with a surprisingly polite statement,  
“Greetings, Midgardian known as Odysseus. The goddess known as Athene  
has entrusted me to ensure your safety throughout your travels.  
I am Loki, god of Mischief. I come from a realm very different from your own. ”  
Odysseus, while suspicious, showed no sign of fear to the ever-mischievous Loki.  
The hero simply stated, “Very well. Any companion of the goddess Athene  
is a companion of mine. How do you plan to ‘ensure my safety’,  
oh great god of mischief?” Loki replied, “I simply wish to keep watch over you  
for a few days. I mean no harm.”  
He stated this with his usual smirk and arrogant tone.  
Despite his suspicion, Odysseus remained quite hospitable  
toward the ever-mischievous god. Loki managed to cause a minor bit of mischief himself;  
he turned four of the crewmembers into sheep and three into pigs,  
and one into a duck and another into a cow. He eventually transformed them back  
to their original state of course, as he knew Athene would not be pleased.  
Eventually, a week had passed.  
Just as the crewmembers had grown weary of Loki’s mischief,  
the gray-eyed Athene appeared before them, stating to Loki  
“I believe you have fulfilled your purposes here.  
I may now permit you to return to Asgard.” Loki replied, “Very well then.”  
With that, he looked back to the crewmembers and stated,  
“Fare thee well, Midgardian peasants. I wish you luck on your travels  
under your capable leader, the great Odysseus. Now if you’ll excuse me,  
I must now completely obliterate the Jotunheim.”  
With that, Loki pressed a quick kiss to Odysseus’s mouth, leaving the hero stunned  
as Athene transported Loki back to Asgard,  
where he was immediately greeted by Thor and Odin,  
who proceeded to trap him in hopes of preventing him from carrying out his destructive plot.

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this, thank you thank you thank you from both of us, and please tell us what you think! :3 Kay will probably write another chapter for this with some Loki/Odysseus smut so check back here sometime or follow our tumblrs since we'll probably post it on there too.  
> [My tumblr](becausebooomerangs.tumblr.com)  
> [Kay's tumblr](kaycazzz.tumblr.com)


End file.
